"remember, you have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce"
Well it pisses me off.
As of late I have been working. SO.MUCH. Last week I worked 51 hours in 6 days. Yes, Beyonce and I have the same amount of hours in a day, but what that silly so called motivational sentence doesn't say is that Beyonce has extensive help. A trainer who most likely comes to her home gym, a nanny, a maid, a chef, a personal assistant, a stylist, a makeup artist, a chauffeur. Most people don't have all that help. I certainly don't. That stay at home mother of three, the mom figuring out how to feed her kids tonight, the single dad working two jobs to support his children, the college student pulling an all nighter to keep their scholarship, the spouse who has an ill partner and is solo parenting? Those are the people in this world who inspire me to keep going. The people who are able to look past the pain and hard stuff and still keep on keeping on? Those are the people I think of when I am exhausted and feel like I am going to fall over. I don't think of Beyonce. Sorry, Beyonce.
Even with good thoughts, and the momentum to go to work 6 days a week I do not feel as if I am doing enough. Recently I have been so worn out that I feel so unproductive. I make lists in my head of things that I am going to get done after work each night and let me tell you : I never check off the things on those lists. As long as we're telling secrets I suppose I should say that not only I have not blogged for two weeks, I also haven't been going to the gym as much as I want to. It's a miracle if I make it three times in one week. Which is disgusting to me. The thing is I don't hate working out anymore, nor am I at a loss for what to do once I get to the gym, but the problem is once I get home each night I am EXHAUSTED. Seriously. My days usually look like this: wake up, get ready, drive 30+ minutes to work depending on traffic, have major anxiety if there is traffic, get to work, spend 7 hours taking care of a tiny human---a human who does not prefer long naps lately, drive 40-60 minutes home in rush hour, and then clean the kitchen at home, do dishes, and make dinner. After that I can barely work up the gumption to shower, let alone go to the gym. And if you think my motivation for the gym has been bad? I cannot honestly tell you the last time I sat down at my sewing machine. Insert gasp here.
I feel as if my life is all work and no play. Ha, and I consider play these days sewing and going to the gym. Feel free to laugh at me. Between nannyinng and waitressing, I am shot physically, and mentally. Both my jobs are physically demanding and I am mentally drained every night of the week. So what is the solution? ---Because honestly I cannot keep up with the pace I am currently racing at, I feel like I am constantly moving at 100 MPH and I am going to crash at any moment. I am stressed and overworked and I am not sure what to do about it. Cutting back on hours at wither of my jobs is not an option for me.
I am not sure how to regain momentum in other areas of my life aside from work. I have plans long term to cut back on stress and fill in with relaxing activities, but what do I do while I am floundering short term? How do I insert joy and fun back into my daily routine without skimping the other responsibilities I have? Do you feel like you just can't cut it lately? You don't have enough energy for things you enjoy? Any ideas on how to create a better balance between work and play? Any ideas on where I can find more energy for the things I love? Do you have a secret energy source in your fortress you'd be willing to share?